BLAH BLAH BLAH

Oh my goodness! I don't know where to start. Not much has transpired since the last time I wrote but I definitely feel the blahs coming on very heavy. I dread the upcoming week just because there will be no down time for us pretty much for the next 12 days. It is something that I can't just say well we are just going to say no because we can't. I know woe is me... not really but I would love to do the dramatic faint with my hand to my head and say "whatever are we to do!" Now wouldn't that be funny! Or at least in my head it would be. I tend to be at my limit right now and not just on things that are bugging or annoying me but the general everyday things. The I realize we are at another milestone time in Mark's deployment when we both get antsy because there is light on the horizon. I realize for those that haven't been seperated that it is a little hard to comprehend, although I am sure they really try to understand. I am not being sassy here at all. I just know from personal experience if you ain't been through it you just don't know....like I have never lost a leg or been working in an oil field, or harvesting wheat. Back to that horizon. I usually can divide our time seperated by 4 major developments. 1 1/2-2 months after he leaves I usually lose my marbles for a couple of weeks (this time we hit 3 months before that happened.) The next step is he is almost home for his leave but we are not quite there yet and could it come any faster....... (we are there now!) the third is having to go through the 1st step again because you have sent them back for the last half and it is like losing someone all over again. The fourth step is similar to the second but if you know this time is for good you really get antsy and lose your cool, so I usually hibernate the last 2 weeks prior to not offend anyone haphazardly.

So I am now in step 2 and antsy antsy antsy. I miss Mark so much! It has gotten better though because he now has his phone in his room and he can call a whole lot better. Apparently he finally can get on facebook and look at pics and videos of Ethan which is tremendous! YEAH! But he still isn't here.

Ethan and I are somwhat sick this morning but we are surviving. Mainly snotty noses and Ethan has what I call "Cold" coming out of his eyes. That goopy stuff that collects in your eyes when you are sick. I am really missing on not going to church this morning as I really enjoy services again for the first time in ages. Plus we will miss church next week because of being in Chicago. Hopefully we will attend with Julie and Jesper at their church. If not I will do what I am doing today....reading a bible ... What do you know about that!

My mind is also swirling with conversations that have not happened. This is one of the worst side affects I have to watch about Depression. What could be said or done! It's always worse in my head. So I am continuing to quote my scripture for that one: Don't let evil overcome you, but overcome evil with good! I don't think anything could sum it up any better! See God is helping me to use it because I started to write about what is bothering me and what is causing the thoughts/conversations. (And no I am not hearing little voices in my head! Just role playing conversations so I know what would be appropriate in how to respond to ugly statements and attitudes that I know are coming) I just have the same issue that has plagued me since I met Mark and no it isn't Mark haha! OVERCOME EVIL! In this instance the evil is my thoughts. See I almost went ahead and wrote it down.

ANYHOO>................ I love the new picture Mark posted for the facebook. He is grinning that awnry grin of his ever so slightly. He has been telling me the funniest things about people there in Iraq. He can definitely tell a good chuckler!

Well I guess I had best give this up and get to changing Ethan's drawers as I smell a tangy smell on the air. :)