IT's all out there now!

Well life is now at critical issue mode. But through it I feel like God has stretched me once again to teach me some lessons on patience, love, truth, and how to live for Him. The past week has been nuts with comments about family stuff. We have now all laid our hearts and hurts out to look at examine, forgive, and forge on. Things that have been buried for years. It will take some time to heal and hopefully everything was received in the loving way it was intended. But we will continue on seeking God and loving in truth. Mark and I have decided that from now on and only with God's help when we have been hurt that we will immediately (as soon as possible) go to that person in love and share our concerns. Not accusatory or hateful but trying to reconnect in love.

The wait has begun and we carry on. One person so far has not indicated that they were seeing anything wrong with what they had done. Hopefully God will soften all our hearts to be better connected together not only as family but as sisters in Christ.

This is not a long post but I am exhausted from all the interaction. I pray that Mark finds peace before he heads back to Iraq. I still hurt and only God can fix that hurt and I am once again laying it down for him to take care of.

In Christ's way, Kim

My heart hurts right now!

This should be one of the most wonderful times for Mark and I. Unfortunately it has hit a big bump in the road. Mark and I are fine but extended family have brought to light several items that should have been dealt with years ago and now all of a sudden it is now time. Markhas been his usual wonderful self by standing by my side. Without going into ugly family issues let me say first before I go forward I am very blessed by my families and love them very deeply.

The issue boils down to that no one really knows me or tries to know me. They don't know my dreams, goals, ideals, frustrations and/or blessings unless they are directly affected by it.They just don't seem to care. I feel so lost in the crowd because of that and this is an ongoing thing for almost 20 years now.

When Mark and I first started dating he was encouraged to find someone else and not settle for the first girl he found. The night we got married his family insisted on a family photo without the new bride and continued to do the same thing for 14 years until new inlaws were part of the family and it couldn't be ignored anymore that there were new members of the family. I hurt and felt so rejected and unimportant everytime I see the pictures that were up of for years without the one member of the family not in them. They just didn't get it. If anyone could have felt less actually accepted I did.

There are all kinds of other reasons that I could list but I constantly ask God to forgive me for not forgeting the hurt. My heart really loves them in spite of not feeling wanted. They are beautiful people that just don't stop to think how it affects us! Because they hurt Mark more than me. I just ask that God give me the strength to once again find a well of love above what I already have for my family. I do love them.

God cleanse my heart!