It definitely has been a long time since my last posting! So here goes.... God thankfully is much more faithful than I could ever be. He doesn't forget to communicate or not have time. He is there ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!! And speaking of time He always does things in His timing! I have waited for several things in my life several different times and it never ceases to amaze me how perfect the timing is when He works! I am praying about something right now that I would love to see happen right now but it may not be the right time in God's plan. Until then I am praying for wisdom and peace until I see that prayer answered even if it is not what I want.

Okay so for what I want. LESS STRESS!!!! My son to have a miracle and his eyes and ears be healed. But I am already seeing God's hand in that disability because like difficulties in my own life God uses those to create in us a stronger person who will be able to show God glory in the imperfection. Of course I think Ethan is perfect though! :) However I can see where if Ethan allows God to work through him he will be able to bring God great glory! I also recognize that it is my responsibility to seek God and try my best to seek His will for my life to set an example for Ethan and to show Ethan how to seek God. And then I want to be a smaller body frame again not because I am worried about my health but because I am sick to DEATH of people assuming I am unhealthy or unhappy with my size just because society dictates I should be smaller! I only gained this weight because I was so worried about what people thought! well truth is I still do worry about people but more about their souls but still have the occasional worry about their thoughts (IT"S JUST HUMAN!!!!!!!!) Well anyway I only have one other thing I want but that is truly one for only God to handle! He has been working on it and I thankfully can praise Him for holding off in making it finished and fixed! I trust Him to take care of it and I know that He is changing hearts and developing a love there that wasn't there before! His timing is just something I have to remind myself about constantly though! So leaving all those thoughts and desires in God's hands I will move on with my posting:

Do you ever get the feeling you are in the vortex of the tornado but standing still? That is how I feel right now. I feel the world whirling around me and am ready for the winds to still and the rain to go away. The only reason I am feeling still is God is holding me steady! WOW can't stress enough how thankful I am for that!

So it is really late (9:45) and I am exhausted and ready for sleep!!! Just a quick side note here....Take care!!!!